I'm Not Me and You're Not You!
by Jean Cooper
Summary: It was meant to be a prank on two young men, but then something went wrong, a glitch if you will- a hiccup in the magic. Strong T for language and situations. Bad juu juu ftw!
1. Chapter 1

**This is something that I've been playing around with- along with several other fics you guys might see popping up. Just when I have writer's block for MEMF doesnt mean I stop thinking up things all together. So rather than letting this stuff clutter my computer I decided to go ahead and post it. This isn't going to be a super long fic. maybe...15 or so chapters as of currently. But...eh. This talk came about one day with Sugar, and she has some hilarious fanart to post on DA I'm sure.I don't own HM, and honestly I think I was on a sugar high when I came up with this. Enjoy the begining of a tale of hilarity and bad juu-juu.**

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This had to be the worst day of my life so far.

And I hoped that it would be the last one for a long while.

Goddess knows I might self implode and go on a homicidal spree throughout Mineral Town- taking out several of the most annoying people in my life.

Though I wasn't sure it was entirely too healthy to imagine becoming a raging serial killer in your mind, I was sure that it was healthier to imagine such things than to act them out.

I would start with my Grandfather, and probably move right down the street to take out that blabber mouth Manna. Goddess knows her telling Anna about my foul mouth and unsavory attitude hadn't helped my chances in pursuing Miss Mary. I might take out Anna to, just for the embarrassment she had caused me the one and only time Mary had invited me over for dinner.

It hadn't ended well on any means, what with my managing to call the woman the equivalent of what I thought she was acting like, and then muttering an apology to Basil and Mary before leaving the seething woman behind.

I had only felt vindicated when I heard Basil bluntly tell his sputtering wife that she indeed had been behaving like a 'bitch'.

Well since I had managed to off three people in my imagination I might as well take out a few more, though other than my overly cheerful ever optimistic season roommate I couldn't much think of anyone else.

Save for Cliff- just so I would have the goddamn room to myself.

The thought of being in isolation after this day from hell was enough to bring a bitter smile to my lips, if only because I knew it would never happen.

If Gramps didn't start paying me more, or at the least let me come back to his place, I would never save up enough to buy my little plot of land here. My only option was to stay at the inn until the old bastard died and left me the forge- if he managed to do that.

He'd probably ordered it burned to the ground just to spite me.

I glanced over my shoulder at the old shop, my eyes narrowing at the thought of standing here to see its crispy corpse and remains. I sighed and took off to the right, deciding just to suck it up and go home to the inn and passing up the chance for Manna to tell the harpies in town square she'd seen me talking to myself.

The last damn thing I needed was for everyone in this town to think I was crazy _and_ violent.

I was knocked slightly off balance when I hit something in the middle of the path. I suppose it was a person since I highly doubted trees had gained the ability to rush into the middle of a walk way. I blinked down to see a petite blond scrambling on the ground, gathering bruised produce from the ground and shoving it back into the large basket she had evidently been carrying. Though how she was carrying the damn thing I didn't know- It was almost the same size as her.

"I'm so sorry Gray," she mumbled as she reached for some tomatoes and carefully placed them back in the basket. "I didn't see you…"

"I figured as much," I snapped back, squatting down and picking up a few ears of corn and a few now smashed tomatoes. I raised my lips up in disgust at the juice went down my hand, but still placed them in her basket. She could cook the damn things or something I guess. "You really ought to be more careful you ditz, you'll end up in the ditch with a broken neck from tripping over this damn basket."

I glared down at the girl, seeing her face redden as she nodded. She reached into her overall bib and pulled out a small rag, snatching my hand and wiping the tomato juice off my hands.

"I'm sorry. I'll be more careful, I promise," she mumbled out, and I was amazed I even managed to hear her. The girl's voice was always so soft and I wasn't sure that she was able to speak much above a whisper- other than the squeaks I got for responses sometimes when I snapped at her.

"Whatever. It's your damn neck," I muttered irritably, standing up and offering her my hand. She hesitated before taking it and I rolled my eyes at how much she came off the ground when I snatched her up.

She was like a rag doll with a brain, I swear. How she managed to even plow with a hoe I would never understand.

I didn't offer her another word as I stormed passed her, but I did feel a twinge of guilt as I heard her murmur a thank you and yet another apology after me.

Why doesn't that girl just stop apologizing for everything? I made me want to shake her at times, not to mention as she tended to stutter her damn apologies around me so much that it made me feel like some type of abusive asshole. Like she was so damn afraid I'd pop her if she stepped out of place.

I was vaguely aware of some loud shouting and ranting coming from up ahead, and I couldn't help but to raise a curious eyebrow as Kai came storming out of the Poultry Farm, an uncharacteristic scowl on his face. He caught site of me, and I grimaced as he paused to let me catch up to him.

I really wasn't in the mood for this bullshit.

Kai's problems to me just sounded like a bunch of damn whining, what with 'Rick is just over protective' and 'Popuri doesn't understand how much I sacrifice for her.'

It wasn't sacrificing if he was expecting something in return for it. If the idiot really loved the childish woman then he wouldn't feel the need to express on just how much ass he passed up during his time away from here.

"Why is Claire so down?" he asked as I reached him, the question having me look over my shoulder to see the woman simply starring at her basket of bruised produce forlornly. I shrugged my shoulder and continued on, mentally groaning at the sound of Kai's steps falling in with mine.

"She's probably thinking about all the money she lost because she wasn't looking where she was going," I muttered, pinching the bridge of my nose as I continued on my unmerry way.

"You really ought to go easy on the poor girl. She's nervous around you enough as it is." I wasn't sure if it was the way he said the sentence that had me getting the gut feeling he knew exactly why it was she was so nervous, but I was too tired and too aggravated to give a rat's ass.

"You know what Kai," I snapped angrily, turning my head to glare at him. "I could really care less how Claire feels around me right now. I told her I was sorry, I helped her pick up her shit. There isn't much more I could do, is there?" Kai's eyebrows rose for a moment before they furrowed in irritation. He shook his head and interlaced his fingers before resting his hands on the back of his head.

"You could have- oh I don't know. Been a gentleman and offered to carry that basket to her place. Or something like that," he drawled out lazily, his elbow nudging the back of my head as he walked past me.

"Watch yourself, Kai. I'm not in the mood for your shenanigans today," I barked out, almost tempted to snatch that flashy bandana off his large head and cram it in the trash can we were passing in Rose Square.

"You never are. All you do is sulk about how hard you have it. You never stop to think about how hard you make things on other people…"

"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"That you're an insensitive asshole that is always snapping at people for stupid reasons. Like right now- you're pissed off at me because I'm trying to socialize with you, and I would bet my life you snapped at Claire one way or another back there. It's a wonder the woman isn't completely terrified of you with how you treat her."

"What the hell is your problem today?" I hissed, my fist clenching

"I'm not sure. It could be the fact that I'm frustrated with my girlfriends near homicidally over protective brother, that I'm sick and tired of being out casted by the damn town- or maybe being your roommate has finally caused me to snap into an irrevocable down ward spiral where I spend all my free time sulking about how hard my life is and ignoring all the people who could possibly care about me."

"Is that some type of crack at me?" I growled, storming after the slightly shorter man, eyes boring holes in the back of his stupid bandana covered head.

"I'm just saying that is how I feel," he retorted, kicking some gravel at the bend of the path by Yodel Ranch. I mimicked him, but I wasn't aiming my pebbles for the ditch. I was aiming them at the back of the idiot in front of me.

"Keep that crap up and I wont offer you any baked corn, you sour puss," he drawled out, still not bothering to look over his shoulder.

That guy really bugged me.

Even when Kai was pissed off, he still managed to be likeable. And me? I was barely likable when I was in a rare good mood. Why the hell couldn't I be more like that?

"I bet Ann is still mad about this morning," Kai said thoughtfully, stopping in Rose Square and looking at me. "I doubt we'll be fed after what happened."

I glared at the man, wondering why in the hell I would be blamed for the washing machine being possessed. I didn't put the damn soap that had managed to get all over the floor in there. All I had done was brought the laundry down.

"Come on Gray, I'll make us dinner," he mumbled, taking off towards the beach.

I almost didn't go. I knew Kai would end up pushing me past my limit if I hung out with him. But I also was hungry, and my stomach caused me to trail after him.

And for the most part he cooked in silence, and I brooded. And it was turning out to be going very well. That was of course until we began eating. Kai just couldn't sit in a comfortable silence.

"About Claire…"

"Don't start," I snapped, dropping the half eaten ear of corn and glaring at the person across from me.

"I'm just trying to say that it won't kill you to be a little nicer to the poor girl. I mean she considers herself your friend, and you're constantly yelling at her every time you see her,"

"Kai, shut the hell up," I growled, shutting my eyes and standing up abruptly. "It's not like I wake up every day with the mind set to yell at the child. She is just always in my damn way!"

"Ever think that maybe you're the one in the damn way," he shouted back, obviously not in the mood to sit there like a good boy and get reamed. But goddamn it he had brought it up. There was rapping at the snack shack door that we both ignored as we glared at each other.

"I don't have time to look out for that damn woman. You have no idea how much shit I have on my mind every day,"

"It can't possibly be that freaking hard to get up, get to work on time and hit a rock with a damn hammer," Kai muttered, somewhat condescendingly if I might say. And that was something I wouldn't stand for.

"Just like I'm sure its so hard to come in here day after day and watch paint peel."

"That is uncalled for." He muttered, reaching over the table and poking my shoulder- a bad decision. The wind came in from the now open door, but we still ignored it. "Just because you're a miserable bastard doesn't give you a right to take it out on the rest of the damn town. This attitude right here is exactly why no one in town wants you around them! I don't understand why she even…"

I didn't realize it till it was too late, but the abrupt cracking sound and the pain in my knuckles made me realize I had clocked the bastard. I stared wide eyed, then heard a cheerful giggle from the entrance. I looked over, just catching sight of a woman in a black cloak, dirty blond hair bringing out bright violet eyes. Then the room was suddenly filled with purple smoke, and Kai and I both were coughing the shit up.

"Look like you boys have a lot to figure out about eachother. I'll check back in here another day." The woman's voice filled the room as the smoke began to clear.

What the hell?

"I can't believe you hit me," Kai muttered about fourty-five minutes later, holding a cold piece of meat over his left eye.

"I'm sorry," I muttered again, shaking my head. "You touched me. It's a natural reaction when you're mad," I explained.

"Whatever you asshole. I owe you know," he muttered, and I opened the door to the shack and walked with the bitching woman all the way back to the end. For Goddess sake I didn't even hit him that hard. He barely had a shiner.

I climbed up stairs as soon as we got to the inn, not bothering to go with Kai as he went to trade the meat in for a bag of ice. I showered and headed to bed, briefly muttering a gruff goodnight to Cliff.

Tomorrow would have to be a better day, right?

-_-_-_-

My head was killing me.

That was really the only thing I was aware of as I reached up to tenderly touch it, wondering why it felt like I had ran headfirst into a wall. As my fingertips brushed over my face I winced, acknowledging the fact that my left cheek was tender and very bruised.

"What the hell?"

"Gray, you awake?" Who the hell was that? I don't remember Kai or Cliff having that husky of a voice. I put my hands over my face and opened my eyes, frowning at the darkness of my skin. I know good and damn well I had taken a shower the night before. I moved my hands, blinking sleepily up at my reflection...

My reflection was wearing Kai's stupid purple bandana....

"Good morning Sunshine," I realized the voice I had heard earlier was the one that came from my own body, which...I...wasn't in. I bolted upwards, looking over to the dresser mirror and cursing.

Kai's reflection stared back at me, a mixture of horror and disbelief written all over him. I lifted a hand and the horrified expression grew as the reflection mirrored my actions.

"What the fuck?"


	2. Chapter 2

**So this turned out to be more complicated than I wanted it to be. Kai isn't freaking out like Gray was, and this covers the first few days. The fun begins in the next few chapters, when the guys majorly upset the girls, so hopefully I can take care of all this quickly. Thanks for reading.**

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I flexed my new large hands, wincing when several knuckles popped. Goddess when he got older he was going to have bad arthritis. I waited patiently as Gray continued to pinch himself, wide eyes looking over a body that wasn't his. But when the man began slapping my already bruised face I snapped.

"Stop hitting me," I hissed, angrily pushing back the copper hair that fell in my face. No wonder he always wore that hat.

"What the hell did you do? Fix it right now!"

I raised an eyebrow, and even though I was only slightly agitated I could feel my blood pressure rising. This body had no control. It seemed to take emotions to the extreme.

"How do you propose I do that?" I was slightly amused at the very Gray-like expression he managed to put on my face, and I had to admit that it evidently was possible for me to be intimidating- of only because Gray was in my body.

I leaned over the man, pinning him beneath me and on the bed. "In the movies, when something like this happens the affected parties share a passionate kiss and all returns to normal."

The stunned man beneath me became rigid, and for the first time I was glad my body was smaller. I t was all I could do not to burst out laughing as his eyes widened and his face flushed. "I'd rather be stuck this way," he muttered. I chuckled at his response, the deep near foreign chuckle startling me.

"How can you be so damn calm?" I shrugged, standing up and beginning to dress in his normal attire.

"I've been awake over an hour," I began quietly, shaking my head. "I've had more time to accept I've lost my mind." I watched as 'Gray' hesitantly stood, beginning to dress in my regular clothes.

"What the hell are we going to do?" I shrugged, deciding it might be more entertaining to see his thought process. "No one is going to believe this- hell I keep thinking I'll wake up at any moment now."

"And yet here we are, you blessed with my handsome face, despite the disfigurement we tried to cause, and me with your overly large and clumsy body."

"How can you joke about this? Have you forgotten our lives require us to interact with people," the man interrupted and I remained silent as he ranted.

"Not really," I said non chalantly as he finished. "That is why I'm going to apologize to Claire in your stead." I went to leave the room but I found it blocked.

"No! You're taking my ass to work," he hissed, glaring up at me and jabbing his finger in my chest. "Before the old man kills me, and so help me if you're late- I will tell Popuri about that fling you had with Muffy." I gawked at the man, and the just plain unfairness of the situation.

"But we were broke up at the time," I whined, kicking at the floor. "And it was like two years ago."

"Do you really think she cares?"

I sighed and shook my head, hating the fact that Gray had such damn 'dirt' on me. But he was right. It didn't matter if we were broke up or not- Popuri would have a conniption fit.

"You have any place you're supposed to be today?"

"The beach," I replied bitterly, wrinkling my nose as I eyes Gray's pale skin. It was obvious how much time he spent in the forge, out of the sun. If it weren't for his muscle mass I would think the complexion was from him being sickly. Well that and the tanned hands- though I didn't consider wrist lines a good look, unless of course it was from bracelets or something.

"Well I hope it's a slow damn day, because I am limited to my cooking abilities."

"You're job," I began, closing my eyes and shaking my head in exasperation. "is to keep my tan, serve snow cones to the customers, and not to upset Popuri in any way shape or form."

"And your job is to not get me killed by Gramps," he huffed, rubbing the back of his neck. "And not to break to damn much in the shop."

"It can't be that hard to hit a rock," I muttered, leaving behind my own body and beginning my first day as Gray.

I'm sure he over exaggerated a lot of his woes.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Or so I had thought several days ago.

"What the hell did you do, you idiot?" Saibara bellowed and I fumbled with what I thought had been a decent sickle blade, the item clattering on the floor. I winced when it shattered, pieces of ore and metal splintering everywhere. But still I had thought it had been a nice product, considering it was my first time.

"How could you have gone from your work a few days ago back to this dung you created in the beginning of your training" the old man hissed, fingers combing through his beard in agitation.

"I'm just having an off day," I offered somewhat meekly, doing my best to ignore the different shades of red the old man turned. I grunted when I felt the now all too familiar feeling of a slap to the back of the head.

For Goddess' sake, it was a wonder Gray hadn't killed this miserable violent old man.

"Well you need to get to a goddamn 'on' day. We're loosing business- and so is Claire. She needs this to weed her field, and you are going to finish it, and I swear, if you waste anymore material I'll dock your pay." His squinted eyes turned towards the clock and he jerked his thumb towards the door. "Get the hell out of my shop."

The miserable old fart didn't have to tell me twice.

I sighed as the door shut firmly behind me, shoving my hands deep into my pants pockets. I felt like I did back in high school when I had that job at the video rental place I hated. But this was worse since there was more than verbal abuse.

I sure hoped Gray got done with that damn sickle soon. He'd been managing to sneak out of the inn while Saibara was in there drinking, and used his key to get into the shop to work on a sickle.

"Another night and it should be done," he had assured me when he dragged into bed last night. Due to the fact I was sporting a goose egg on the back of _his_ head, I hadn't said nothing about the bandage covering _my_ right hand.

Well I certainly hoped it was, because I didn't feel like my last day of work for the week being ruined by an ass-chewing.

I saw a familiar blond toiling away in her fields, watering the pineapple plants carefully, sticking her fingers into the soil to make sure it was damp enough to hydrate the plants. I remembered her telling me my favorite fruit took the longest to grow, and was most temperamental when it came to its care. If the plant got to dry it tended to wither.

But she went out of her way to grow them, not because they were profitable, but for me. And I appreciated that.

"Hey Claire," I called out cheerfully, raising my eyebrows when she dropped her watering can and gawked at me.

Normally I would have chuckled at the blush coming across her face, and how she suddenly found the texture of the dirt the most interesting thing in the world. It was her reaction almost every time she encountered Gray…

And that was when I remembered exactly _who_ I appeared to be, and I stood there, awkwardly rubbing the back of my head. This wasn't good. If anyone could pick up on Gray not being Gray, it would be Claire. She had been in love with the man for well over a year.

"G-Gray, what brings you here?" I frowned at how quiet her voice was, knowing that it irritated Gray to no end that after spending a day hearing the earsplitting sounds in the forge that he couldn't hear the woman speaking barely above a whisper.

Of course Claire was always quiet, but not this quiet.

"_It's not that easy Kai. When I see him my heart jumps and beats so fast, all I can hear is blood rushing to my ears. And I can barely speak to him, and when I do, he usually snaps at me. I know a lot of times he's had a bad day, and there are the occasions when I see him at the library, when he's more kind. And I really wish I had never seen him like that, heard him speak so gentle, and be so kind to Mary and even myself."_

I grimaced more at the description, shaking my head. I really ought to not get involved. I shouldn't…

"It's not like you to come here," she murmured, closing her eyes and brushing the ground with the toes of her left foot.

"Well, I guess I figured I'd see you somewhere besides the library," I offered with a chuckle, unable to stop smirking at the embarrassed look on her face.

"What has gotten into you the last few days, Gray?" she asked her eyes looking dead into mine. I could almost see the gears turning in her head as she examined me. I gave a nervous chuckle and offered her a meek smile.

"Kai just…got onto me for what happened the other day when I ran into you. So I'm doing my best to be nicer," I offered, and I gulped when her eyes narrowed.

"Kai should mind his own business," she muttered, shaking her head and turning her back to me. "You don't have to coddle me, I'm not a baby. I am fully aware of how you are," she said quietly, her shoulders slumping. I almost didn't hear the next words, but when I did I stiffened.

"At least I _thought_ I was."


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks much for the reader love :)**

**Here is Claire's chapter. Next one is Popuri's. there is no set chapter order after the first four. Enjoy- hopefully.**

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The man behind me said nothing as I squatted down, quietly picking tomatoes. I sighed in disappointment at the feelings inside of me.

I had always wondered what it would be like, for him to be here and watch me as I worked. And yet now that he was here…

It felt oddly familiar.

I wasn't as self-conscious as I usually was in front of the man. And that feeling has been waning the last several days. When I caught Gray's eye in the morning as he headed into the forge, I didn't get that fluttering feeling in my chest, nor did my hands get all sweaty.

If anything when I met his eye and that small grin appeared on his face, it reminded me of someone else.

That someone else had been confusing the hell out of me as well.

Kai had become sullen and withdrawn, and had stopped teasing me, or even coming by on non-busy days to help me with anything, or check on the progress of the pineapples. And that feeling that had been reserved solely for Gray…was transferring.

That feeling of suffocation, nervousness, and the inability to articulate was becoming more pronounced among my good friend. And that hadn't gone unnoticed by his girlfriend, much to my dismay. Nor did his sudden distraction and short patience when it came to her.

Between Kai and Gray it was almost as if there personalities had both done a total 180.

And yet when I had voiced my opinion to Mary, she had informed me I was being paranoid. Just because Gray was being pleasant and Kai was being moody didn't mean anything phenomenal had happened. Simply that Kai was having a bad spell and Gray was having a good one.

So why did I feel like that was far from what happened?

"What do you mean by that?" I paused at the man's question, looking at him over my shoulder as he shuffled nervously behind me.

"I simply mean, that you have not been yourself recently," I tried to explain, hoping the concern didn't earn me some harsh words in what would be usual Gray fashion.

"I've just been in a good mood lately," he offered, and I shrugged, standing with my basket and taking it to the shipping bin.

"Well then Kai is being rather moody. Maybe you ought to talk to him. He's been being rather harsh to Popuri, and honestly she is getting angry with me about it…"

"What are you talking about?" I sighed at the question ,hearing concern and annoyance lacing his voice.

"Well Kai hasn't had the patience he usually does with her, and he's snapping at her. He apologizes after, but I can tell…from what I've seen and what I've heard, that he's in an odd mood. I'm worried he'll say something stupid soon that cant be apologized away. And for some reason…Popuri thinks its my fault ," I added the last part quietly, a flush filling my face.

"Why on earth would she think its your fault?" he muttered, and at the tone of his voice I looked over to see him rubbing the back of his neck. For a brief moment I saw Kai standing before me, as it was the gesture he often performed when anxious. But then it was simply Gray again, and I sighed, shrugging my shoulders.

"They way I've been acting, I suppose. It confuses myself. But suddenly…I'm very nervous around Kai," I ended it there, quickly turning away from the man as a strange look came over his face. I sighed and stood up, remembering the pineapples in my rucksack. "Actually…I need to go. A promise is a promise. So…I'll see you later, alright?" I offered awkwardly, still not liking the sudden sense of ease and familiarity I felt with the man in front of me.

Not when it reminded me so much of what I shared with Kai.

I wasn't sure if he heard, or was done with the conversation, but as soon as I rounded the corner of my farm and hit the path that lead to Rose Square I began to jog. I didn't want to be near Gray, not when I was so confused and my feelings were so tangled inside.

It just wasn't fair.

I had known just a week ago that I loved the man.

I knew that I coveted his work ethic, admired his stubbornness, how he never quit, no matter how discouraged.

It was hard to explain that I was in love with someone who probably didn't even recall my name half the time. Some might say it was an obsession. But I was sincerely attracted to Gray, even with his inverted personality.

He was better suited for someone else…but I still could admire him from afar.

But now…now those feelings were leaving. I wasn't attracted to him, I just…didn't love him anymore.

Tears stung my eyes long before I registered the cool salty breeze. My feelings had shifted, and I didn't like that. Especially when they had shifted to Kai.

I stopped as soon as I caught sight of the man, sitting on the end of the pier and staring out over the ocean in deep thought. My chest tightened, my mouth went dry, and I blinked a few more tears away.

What was wrong with me?

I did my best to gain some composure, wiping my tears and pulling out the man's favorite fruit. I cradled it in my arms before taking a deep calming breath, walking to the pier and down it quietly. I cocked my head to the side, seeing his bandana sticking out of his back pocket as he buried his face in his hands.

He looked so frustrated…so lost.

I didn't say anything at first, simply edged closer to the end of the dock, sitting down and pushing the pineapple next to him. I felt his head turn to look at me, but I kept my eyes pointed firmly to the horizon, the setting sun painting the sky gorgeous shades of pink, orange, and golden.

"Why are you here?" his voice was husky from not being used, a tone I had long ago designated to a blacksmith, and yet though it gave me the same jolt as it did from the man next to me, I couldnt help but to think it fit the redhead better.

"I promised you a pineapple for trying to help me," I reminded him. His gaze found its way back to the distance, and he sighed, his large hand resting on the fruit.

"Thanks." I hummed in response to his thanks, and grabbed the post, leaning down and dipping my fingers in the cool salt water. "Be careful before you fall in," he muttered, jerking me back by my overalls. I blinked up at him, shrugging my shoulders.

"Gray came over after work," I said quietly, somewhat confused at the shrug of his shoulders. Usually Kai would have been jumping for joy at the revelation.

"Figures. He isn't to keen on getting work done," Kai muttered as his eyebrows furrowed in aggravation. "Then he wonders why the old man is giving him such a hard time. He's so damn lazy…"

"That isn't true." I interrupted sternly, glaring at Kai in a mixture of anger and confusion. "We both know that Gray is the hardest working man in this town. He never takes breaks, and he's very resilient when it comes to work, and dealing with Saibara," I explained matter of factly, pausing at the blush that came over the man's face.

He was being rather odd…

"I…didn't know you felt like that," he said quietly, and I felt both of my eyebrows raise upward in response.

"I've told you many times its one of his attributes that I greatly admire," I offered once more. When Kai turned towards me, his face slightly flush and his eyes meeting mine, I found it difficult to look away. His gaze was so intense…

My breath caught when he reached up, for a brief second the action reminded me of Gray, how he reached for his hat to hide his face. Kai's fingers waved through the air and a frown creased his lips before he decided on tugging his bandana down some.

I flushed at the sudden comparison, looking back out at the sunset. I needed to talk to him about other things anyways. That was why I was here. So I should keep it short and to the point.

"You've been acting weird the last few days," I said bluntly, sensing his sudden shift in mood almost immediately. "Popuri has been upset about it…."

"She is so damn annoying," he muttered under his breath. I stopped, leaning against the pier and eyeing him suspiciously. "She just never shuts up, and she whines…" he stopped, catching himself and shaking his head. "Sorry. I've just been in such a weird mood, and…I'm you know- easily frustrated the last few days."

"Well at least that is something we can agree on," I sighed out, shoulder slumping as I looked back to Kai and took a deep breath. "Popuri thinks its my fault you know. She thinks something is happening between us."

"That just proves what an idiot she is. If she thinks for one second that h-" he coughed and shook his head. "…I would do that to her."

"Well your recent attitude leaves one to wonder. I mean you can't yell at her so much and expect her to be okay with that. Not all women keep coming back for the emotional abuse like me," I joked weakly, my eyes shutting as a thought occurred to me. "You've been acting a lot like Gray when I think about it. Even with me you've been more aggravated than usual."

"Maybe I just want to be alone. Maybe I hate it when you or her come over here to whine about your damn problems, or at least hers. It's not my fault Rick hates me," he snapped, his eyes narrowing on me. "And I still don't understand why _you_ come here every day."

I furrowed my brow at his harsh words, trying to ignore the tightening feeling in my chest at the feeling of rejection. What was his problem?

"Because we are supposed to be friends," I snapped back, standing up and placing my hands on my hips. "Though if you have forgotten that fact I'll take my leave. I swear Kai, I don't know what has your panties all in a twist, but you need to fix it before you end up a miserable single man. Popuri is going to leave you. I don't know why you're treating her this way. For someone who is so concerned with how Gray acts to me, it's a hell of a note that you're treating Popuri the same way!"

"What the hell are you talking about? I don't treat you anyway," he began to argue, glowering up at me. I glared up at him, removing one hand from my hip to point at him.

"I don't understand why you're treating Popuri this way Kai. It's not like you don't know she's madly in love with you," I muttered, dusting off the back of my overalls, glaring down at him. "If I didn't know any damn better I would swear you and Gray traded places. You're being just as pigheaded as him!"

"I am not pigheaded!" He snapped back, jumping up at and glaring at me.

"The hell you aren't. How the hell could you do this to Popuri?" I shouted, my chin turning down as I lowered my head, hair falling in my face. "You know you are doing exactly what Gray does to me to her!"

"I haven't done anything to anyone," he said lowly, thorough confusion on his face.

"You've been being an insensitive ass, and its causing you to have problems with her, and her and me to have problems. So either fix it or leave it to fall apart."

"I have nothing to fix!" I shook my head, pushing my hair out of my face.

"You're worse than Gray, though," I hissed angrily, pushing his shoulder. "At least he has an excuse. He's too thick headed to know how I feel, but you.. You are so stupid! Gawd I hate men."

"That's exactly why you haven't got one, isn't it?" He snapped. I faltered, a stricken look coming over my face.

"You know what Kai? You're a prick, and if you want to keep being this way and screw up everything you and Popuri have worked for, then so be it." I spun around at the last part and headed towards Rose Square, gritting my teeth at the response.

"If you ask me you're all crazy! You're making a big deal out of nothing and I don't need any of you around here!"

The man's shout was hurtful, but I knew Kai would never say anything like that and mean it. And that was the only thing that kept me from making it worse. As hard as it was to not respond to his childish remarks.

The wind behind me picked up, and I stopped just as I hit the stone steps leading to the square, wrinkling my nose and blinking my eyes at what I believed I was seeing.

Purple mist…

I sneezed in response, but when I opened my eyes again the mist was gone, and the wind was blowing back towards the ocean. I crested the stairs, just hearing a muffled sneeze as my right foot hit the cobble stone of the square.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm not to thrilled with this, and this is indeed the first time ever I can recall doing Popuri's POV. I feel like I tend to make her too serious thoughtwise, though it may be totally possible for her to be like this. But eh- whats done is done- we got to get this plot moving, yes? Lol. Thanks for reading.**

I fisted my fingers in the small pebbles beneath my hands, feeling moisture leak through my grip from the bits of soil I held. My red skirt was hiked up past my knees as I sat on a flat stone, my pale legs dipping into the cold water and swishing back and forth.

"What is his problem?" I murmured to myself, swishing my hands in the water before bringing them up to play with my soft pink hair.

Kai had just been being such a jerk lately. He had been moody, snappy and impatient with me. If I didn't know any better I would think it was his time of the month.

"Goddamn that old fart for making me come to this freaking death trap!"

I jumped at the loud bellow, echoed by the mines as a familiar khaki suit wearing introvert emerged from the mouth of the cave, covered in dirt and filth and coughing at the dust. He was muttering to himself, using his ratty hat to wipe off his face after he tossed down a heavy sack of ores.

I bit my lip, silently moving and trying to get out of his line of vision before he saw me. Honestly Gray scared me most of the time. Well…not really. But I wasn't in the mood for him to be…himself. The man didn't have the patience for me, or anyone really. And after Kai rejecting my advances today I wasn't in the mood to be treated like an annoying child by another man.

"P-Popuri?" I froze at the sound of my name, actually more at the hint of excitement that lingered in the tone. I turned my head to see the man giving me a lopsided grin, his usually stony face more soft and affectionate.

What in the name of the Goddess was going on?

"Um- Hi?" I mumbled awkwardly, my hands straightening my dress and then smoothing my hair.

"What's wrong?" I found my eyes meeting the concerned deep blue orbs of the taller man, and in that moment my face flushed, as apparently while I was looking at the ground the man had moved directly in front of me.

"Ah- it's just…nothing," I paused, biting my bottom lip and wondering exactly what was wrong with Gray. And Kai. Something was in the water I'm telling you. And then my fight with Claire the other day. "I just realized I'm a total idiot who took something out on a friend that is more than likely completely innocent," I sighed, shaking my head. But then I felt the dirty hand brush against my cheek and once again looked up and the man with the concerned expression that didn't fit his face. I jumped back in response, earning a hurt look from the man.

"Ah- sorry. Habit," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling.

"Gray…are you ok?" I asked, eyes narrowing on him. "I know Kai and I are having issues right now, but that doesn't mean you can just…be so forward with me."

"What issues?" he snapped, his eyes narrowing. "What are you talking about?"

"Well I don't see how its any of your business," I huffed out, crossing my arms and stomping my foot. "Especially when you come out here, acting so strange and being so intimate with me."

"I have every right to…" the man trialed off, his long finger pointing at me and his eyes loosing focus as he looked down in the pond. "Damn it…" he muttered, his hand falling as he glared at his reflection.

"You have no right to touch me," I hissed, somewhat edgy by his strange behavior. It was as if he'd gone mad and believed that we we're together. And part of my mind wondered if there was natural gas leaking in the caves that had made the man mentally unstable and hallucinate.

"You know…I can't believe that you could be so dense sometimes, Popuri. You of all people, should know me better than anyone."

"I don't know anything about you!" I shrieked, backing up when he took a step forward. "And honestly you're freaking me out. You're acting weird, and Kai…" I trailed off there, shaking my head.

"Kai what? What did _he _do?"

"I think he's seeing Claire," I whispered dejectedly, though I knew in my heart it wasn't true. I was just using it as an excuse for his behavior. Because even though he'd been acting so strange to me, he was evidently still able to see her.

"If you think I- If you think Kai would do that to you- after everything you two have been through together, then you're the immature little brat that your brother says you are," he snapped. It was different then how Gray usually snapped- not the bellowing and raging. But a more calm anger. A seething anger.

Just like Kai…

"I am just telling you how I see it."

"Then you're blind."

"I…am not," I choked out, feeling my eyes watering as I reached up to scrub them. Everything from the last few days came pouring out as my eyes stung, large tears falling down my heated cheeks. "I know how I feel, and I know how he's acting towards me. I'm bothering him."

"Well maybe if you weren't so damn clingy he would be able to handle you better," he muttered. And I couldn't help myself. I shoved the idiot. Right back into the pond. I turned as he submerged in the water, ignoring the splashing as I hiked up my skirt and headed down the steep trail. I heard thunder and paused looking up to see a mixture of deep gray clouds- and a small purple haze floating about. I narrowed my eyes at it, and then continued on.

I stopped only when the urge to sneeze hit me, and then dashed further home when I heard the sound of wet material hitting rocks as the drenched apprentice no doubt climbed out the pound. Coughing the whole time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Huzzah for updates. It feels good to be productive! Hope it was somewhat worth the wait- be it short.**

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"What did you do to Popuri?" I raised an eyebrow lazily at the man, pinching the bridge of my nose and shrugging.

"I don't know, but you and Claire are on the rocks," I muttered, seeing my face gaping back at me. "I don't think I can be you. It's impossible- I'm just not good with them."

"Who? Oh- you mean women," I snorted at his obvious statement, shutting my eyes and relaxing in the bed. Why couldn't this nightmare just be over?

"You do tend to make them cry, don't you?"

"Bawl is more like it," I muttered, thinking back to earlier today. "Why is Claire so angry at me….or 'you' for acting like me?" It was weird, watching myself from the corner of my eye, noting the all to familiar expression of hesitation cross my face.

"Well…It's not really my place," he began, scratching the back of his head nervously. "Friendship confidentiality- you know."

"It's not like she's crushing on me," I muttered, though the lack of agreement had me sitting up straight. "Wait….she isn't crushing on me, right? I mean she's terrified of me," I began to ramble, feeling my ears heating by the second.

I wasn't what I would consider a crushable person. I was crude, gruff…I wasn't good looking. I was flawed, and bitter. Not anyone's Prince Charming. Especially for a girl I usually had so frightened she could barely squeak out a one syllable word.

"It's not fear per say. Rather nerves…" Kai muttered lamely, licking his dry lips and pulled his boots of his feet. "Goddess Gray these are about the most uncomfortable damn shoes in the world. How can you wear them all the time."

"They're more practical than flip flops," I shrugged out, my thoughts going back to the blond. I'd never really thought about her…in that way. In anyway rather than….a customer, and I suppose a strange little pipsqueak. And someone that didn't like me.

So I didn't bother trying to establish a friendship with her more than a few times. I'd make idle chatter with her at festivals and on the street- even at the library when she would approach me to whisper a barely audible hello.

But if she was scared of me…or didn't like me- then why did she approach me at all?

I had told myself she was just being well mannered.

"Why would she develop any feelings for me- she hardly knows me," I muttered to myself, which only resulted in a rather familiar snort- even if it was coming from a body that originally belonged to me.

"Shows how much you know. And pay attention. You better hope you never attract a psycho stalker, or you're as good as dead and you'll never see it coming." He drawled out, eyes shutting as he wiggled the toes on his now sockless feet. "She knows a lot more about you then you think- and she really admires a lot about you. You ought to ask her about that one day," he finished, obviously holding loosely enough to his confidentiality rule to give me a vague summary but no real information.

I was about to reply with a sarcastic comment of my own when the door opened and Cliff walked in, fresh out of the community bath and long hair wrapped in a towel. He gave a tired smile to us and waved, tugging at his white shirt and adjusting his flannel pants.

"Shower's open Gray," he offered, looking away from me and towards Kai. I had to bite my tongue to keep from answering and Kai evidently had to think about it for a moment before giving a rather enthusiastic nod. He stood up, grabbing his night clothes and disappearing out the door.

"He's been in a rather great mood the last week or so. It's nice, "Cliff commented as he rubbed the towel vigorously over his head, drying his wet hair. "And you…well Kai I do hope you sort out whatever is troubling you. It's weird that Gray is in such a good mood while you seem so withdrawn…" he mused, dropping his damp towel in the laundry bin and grabbing a comb from his dresser.

Get a haircut damn it. I wonder if Cliff and Rick had a fear of scissors.

"I just have a lot on my mind," I finally whispered, relaxing into the bed and closing my eyes at Cliff's concerned gaze.

"Well I'm always here if you want to sort it out," he offered gently- much like Carter did during the rare sermon I went to.

And as for Claire…what little Kai had given me had me thinking on that- and all our encounters together. And how I ended up talking to her most of the time.

No wonder she had a hard time talking to me. I was _always_ snapping at her. Not that…I was conscious of it or anything.

I drifted off to sleep, vaguely aware when Kai returned and the final ceasing of the lights in the room. And as I drifted in and out of slumber, I decided it was a problem that would still be there in the morning.

As my internal clock began to tell me it was time to I began to notice some things…

The bed seemed more comfortable now than it had when I'd gone to sleep. Bigger too. And as I came closer to consciousness I also noted that the soft snores of my fellow roommate and situation victim were absent. They had instead been replaced by the consistent crowing of roosters. Goddess Rick needed to get rid of them. It was just too damn early to be listening to that crap.

I groaned and sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and tossing the covers back. I stood, head rolling back and vaguely aware of something brushing over my bare back…funny- I didn't remember sleeping without a shirt. I reached up, scratching up my belly and to my chest as was my habit- noting that I needed to trim Kai's fingernails today. It was after making that mental note that my hand came in contact with a strange lump- one that…was attached to me?

I blinked, looking down to see the swell of two full breasts before _**blonde**_ hair fell over my bare shoulder. I stared wide eyed for a moment before letting out a rather loud, exasperated, and very feminine scream.


End file.
